The Doctor and the Despot
by Mind of Ink and Feathers
Summary: The Doctor lands on the dark and unhospitable planet of Faltinar just after an invasion and has a talk with a sensible minister and delusional monarch. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything awesome. Ergo, I definitely don't own Doctor Who and that's very good; I'd ruin it.**

* * *

The Emperor of the 26th Great and Eternal Aglon Empire Chlax XX sat perched atop a throne of broken pieces of armor, welded together in the fires of a supernova, overlooking the roaring black ocean beneath him.

"Such a curious way to live… Beneath the waves of such a merciless and toxic sea."

"They did what they thought was needed to survive, Your Majesty", the minister – her name was Trex, the emperor remembered – informed him, her three eyes turning far away from him the second he looked at her, as etiquette demanded.

"Huh?"

"The Fagillhani; they drove them away, deep beneath the surface where the Fagillhani - the Flakenii, or the "Foes from Above", the Undersea People call them – could not reach them, Your Majesty."

The Emperor smiled. It was a devilish, weird smile, way too wide and way to cruel, unfitting for his young face.

"And we destroyed the Fagillhani, did we not?"

"That we did, Sire."

"What do you say then? Shall we become the new 'Foes from Above', as you put it, Trex?"

The minister seemed unsure. She bit her lip, sharp teeth digging into blue flesh.

"But- the Fagillhani were great oppressors. We delivered imperial justice… Sire."

"And now we deliver imperial rule. After all, our mission is to spread our glorious way of life. Or do you call our judgment unreasonable, minister Trex?"

"Certainly not, Your Majesty."

"Good, we knew you wouldn't disappoint us. Send a memo to the admiral. And ready the rockets."

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

* * *

With a high wheezing, groaning, roaring sound that had become – at different times and at different places - synonymous with both curse and blessing all across more than one universes the blue box appeared at the top of the cliff.

The ancient man exited the box and looked around, an unreadable expression on his face. He squinted against the howling wind and looked to the east, seeking the gleaming towers of a Fagillhanian city somewhere near the horizon where a blue and orange suns were already beginning to disappear beneath the black waves.

Where he had expected to see a city, he saw just a white line of earth. A grand column of brown smoke hovered above it.

The Doctor frowned. The long night on Faltinar would soon begin and something dreadful had happened to the Fagillhani. Their cities weren't just blown up on an everyday basis without any apparent reason.

He looked around and then suddenly froze.

Just there.

High above him in the dark green clouds there was the recognizable glint of a glitch in a faulty invisibility system.

His hand disappeared deep inside a pocket of his jacket and then came out holding a sonic screwdriver. The device flashed and buzzed.

And the Time Lord understood.

Above him were ships, thousands and thousands of them.

And beneath him, he knew, lived billions.

"Not on my watch," he murmured, then turned back to his Tardis. "A shorter trip is in order, old girl."

* * *

"Sire, there seems to be an intruder."

The Emperor's smile grew wider.

* * *

Well, he certainly could have been sneakier.

Looking on the bright side, the quickest way to get to the leader usually was to get yourself captured.

They bound him with bulky electronic manacles and led him to a grand opulent room with transparent floor.

The Aglon on the throne looked barely out of his childhood. Despite this, his grin seemed very far from innocent.

With well-practiced monotone voice the official at the apparent ruler's side announced:

"Here you, mortal, stand, beneath the mighty gaze of Emperor Chlax XX, supreme ruler of the 26th Great and Eternal Aglon Empire. You – "

"Sorry, _what_?"

"Are you not only stupid enough to try to attack us, but also deaf, old man?" the Emperor leaned forward, frowning.

"If you say so. Just asking, why twenty-sixtieth?"

"Because of the twenty five Great and Eternal Aglon Empires from the Dark times before our great ancestor Chlax the First united this fearsome state, obviously – "

"Which was when?"

"Ten years ago. Obviously."

"Obviously."

"Obviously."

"Obviously."

"Obviously."

For a brief moment silence reigned in the room.

"Your Majesty, I fear, that your people have terrible grasp of irony," the Doctor said.

In the corner minister Trex smirked ever so slightly. The Emperor looked furious. He smacked his lips, his golden eyes searching for something.

"Is this man making fun of us, Trex?"

"I'm afraid he is, Your Majesty."

Then Chlax jumped off the throne and walked up to the Doctor. The Time Lord could feel the manacles getting tighter around his wrists and ankles.

"How dare you insult our great civilization? How dare you, puny roach, challenge the greatest race in the galaxy!? One day – One day, you should now, our bards will sing of our expansions and our name will be written across the stars! We would be the most impressive ruler to have ever lived!"

"Bah, I watched a penguin and an octopus dance tango once. Now, _that_ was impressive."

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

And then the Doctor laughed, a low chuckle escaping his mouth. Chlax stepped back, unsure. Minister Trex walked up to her ruler, a terrible suspicion forming in her head.

"Sire, I'd advise against-"

"What is the meaning of this?" shouted Chlax.

"Ah, nothing, really. You see, I'm a Time Lord."

"A _what_?"

"Time Lord. Hello, I'm the Doctor, nice to meet you, sorry for taking so long to do a proper introduction. You will probably be interested in knowing there are a few major flaws in your security system."

He grinned and waved around his hands, now free.

"How- Guards! GUARDS!"

The guards stood there, their expression blank, their hands unmoving. The official next to throne dropped unconscious, his old heart not used to such surprises.

"You know, if you're going to carry paralyzing pistols as a sidearm, you really should be careful not to let some random prisoner get hold of it. So, now, when we're on equal footing, I believe we can have a mature conversation-"

"TRAX-"

"My name is Trex, Your Majesty."

"WHATEVER, TREX, DO SOMETHING!" the Emperor shrieked.

"Like what, Sire?"

"You have a saber, use it! CUT HIM!"

"From ten meters away with dull ceremonial weapon, Your Majesty? With all due respect I find following your order an impossible task."

"CALL BACK UP THEN!"

"Sire, I do remind you – again with all the reverence Your Majesty deserves – that we have no weapons and the intruder can easily paralyze us before we have the chance to call back up."

Chlax stuttered something incomprehensible and then turned to the doctor, a look of proud determination suddenly appearing on his face.

"Then do what you must, old man. The spirit of the Aglon Empire can't die even if we do-"

"Oh, cut it off. What happened to the Fagillhani?"

"We brought them our glorious way of life."

"Which means what exactly?"

"We enslaved them," Trex said.

"So… You enslaved them and burned down the capital, probably all other major cities too, do I understand this correctly?"

"You do, Doctor," Trex nodded.

"Obviously. Of course, burn, kill and enslave! What is wrong with empires and conquering people!?"

"I do not understand what is problem with-"

"Oh, shut up."

Chlax XX dropped down with a thud, unconscious. Disgusted, the Time Lord dropped the pistol and pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he turned to minister Trex.

"Now, do you know you from somewhere?"

"I am not sure. Although, back home, on Fah'nid there was this man in a box, who would drop by, taunt the gods, mock fate and help out. The description on how he looked doesn't match yours, but- Are you him?"

"I told you he would mock fate and taunt the gods."

"But that doesn't make him mad, now, does it? It makes him either very stupid or very clever, not necessarily mad."

"Well, he was mad."

"Then it probably was me," he smiled. "Now, do you have any ideas how to help out the Fagillhani and the Undersea People?"

"The Emperor's orders were clear-"

"Would he bother to check whether they've been executed?"

"No. But I already sent the order."

"So you send the orders?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"All it would take is just to send an order to cancel the invasion plans and everyone would be safe."

"Yes, they would- Will it work?"

"Why wouldn't it? Someone has to do something constructive and it's just counterproductive to wait for any head of state to do it."

"Yes… It might just work."

"Yes, it might," the Doctor took out his screwdriver and with a wheezing sound the Tardis appeared. "I'm sure you'll make a good choice. Have a great life, Trexin Crasstril."

"How do you know my full name?"

"Ah, you remember a mad man in a box and I remember a little curious girl who seemed to rather like blue boxes."

The Doctor stepped in his time machine and disappeared.

* * *

The next month the 26th Great and Eternal Aglon Empire had ended. Such was the nature of all states Aglons had ever founded.

Which was unfortunate. The last (and only) month of Chlax XX's reign was probably the greatest in the entire Empire's history.


End file.
